Journaling is fun. It’s like walking down a hall in the dark looking for the light switch. Tracing the walls with your fingers you suddenly find it and you switch it on, then you discover the hallway you passed through is already papered with the novel you’ve written. It’s like that. Almost always, when you reread, you’ll get surprised with what you’ve written.
I realized that there are many things that do not deserve my attention and, even less, my affection, yet they matter to me. I have resolved that into the meaningful things that remain I will always pour my heart, hoping that the seeds watered with faithfulness will bear good fruit. So to this unlabeled yet very meaningful thing that we have, I pour on faithfulness. Know that you will always be pursued. I will always make you feel loved and wanted, and you will always have my attention and affection, because you are worthy.
When my almost endless thinking strikes, I manage to remind myself of a plenty of good things in life. And my top most good thing happened to be you.
If I have my best friend here with me, great. And since I don’t, it’s fine, I have you, I have my good thing. If my skills or talents get appreciated by others, great. If they get praises only from you, I don’t have to feel like a loser. My skills or talents get to be appreciated by you, my good thing. If my siblings become incredibly successful and I don’t, great for us. They have their good thing and I have my own, too. I have you, and your presence in my life already defines success for me. If my generosity uplifts the days of many, great, but if it uplifts only your days, that wouldn’t be so pleasant, but I don’t have to feel wrong or insecure because you teach and help me pray for the right thing to do. My giving becomes balanced and that’s a good thing. If I become the best of myself, great. If I linger in being good, it’s fine. I can say that I am good because of you. Since I have you, my good thing, I’m not bothered of what others claim for themselves.
If you believe like you know that I do
You’ll see you give me happiness so true
The feeling I get when you hold my hand
Is one great rush I wanna understand
So if it’s a dull day I’ll make it bright
Bring on the night and I’ll make it right
For I think we’re almost there
And our trust is growing stronger
From the day you said, “I love you”
From the moment I felt that you do
I knew that what I have for you is true
With all honesty, I really do love you too
It’s strange when you’re told that some of your strongest longings could be granted. Some say they’ll appear in dreams, and some say they’ll just happen in real life. You need proof. And while you wait, you feel the entire balance of your world tipping. That crazy. But when it’s over, when one finally comes true, say from a dream it consequently happened true to life, there’s a great feeling of relief, because that’s all you wanted, everything narrows to just that. There’s a great rush, an incredible sense of fulfillment. In that moment everything seems fine with the world. It’s amazing.
You’re too beautiful compared to me
I’m too prideful and broken, you see
Yet you chose to stay by my side
You constantly adore my mind
My strengths and faults are revealed
You did not reject, instead you healed
Pouring love into my weary soul
Loving you has made me whole
…I like being with you alone. Always with you alone. Because yes it could be hard around people. And sometimes I feel uneasy, but most of the time you know that my honesty can’t be contained. I like it when you ask about my love for you. Just please don’t ask me why or how for I’ll not know where to start. I just have to look at you. That’s your cue. Just ask me, “Do you love me?” And I’ll answer joyfully, “Yes, surely yes! I love you.”